Grief During the Holidays
Grief during the holidays
The holiday season can add stress for many individuals.
Follow these “three C’s” recommended by HFA grief expert Kenneth J. Doka, PhD, to help navigate your way through this difficult time.
CHOOSE. You have choices. Decide what you want to be part of, who you want to be with, and what you want to do during the holidays. The pain of loss can be very overwhelming at times and you get to choose to take care of yourself. Sometimes we feel pressured to please others and put on a smile. Things are no longer the same after you experience loss. You are faced with the challenge of coming to terms with your new “norm.” Finding ways to recognize and acknowledge the individual you are currently separated from can bring a positive focus to your grief. You can do this in several different ways. Lighting a candle, placing a memento on a tree, joining together in prayer or a holiday toast are also ways to acknowledge the losses felt so keenly this time of year.
COMMUNICATE. Discussing your choices with others, especially those affected by them, is important. We all grieve differently and that is OK. Others have needs as well. Communication to others what your needs are. Sometimes people tend to shut down during grief and hold in their emotions. It is important that we continue to talk about our loved ones and how it affects your new “norm.” Most importantly, stay in communication with Jesus. He is the only one who can truly help you through your grief. “Blessed are those who morn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4
COMPROMISE. Each person deals with loss in his or her own particular way and therefore has different needs. Leaving space for compromise is important, as there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Jesus knows our grief and He understands it. If you choose your actions, communicate your choices to others, find suitable compromises, and most importantly, put your hope in Jesus, you may find that the holidays become bearable and that you have renewed strength and hope.